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Stuff that happened

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> An ingrown hair on my chin somehow managed to burst out of its confines and emerge a beautiful flower. I yanked the bitch out. I was planning on gouging my chin open with needles and tweezers at some point like how I usually deal with all my ingrown facial hairs - bloody and horrible but it saved me the trouble.

> Despite double layering the toilet paper, the remaining poop was somehow the right combination of moist and grainy and significantly compromised the integrity of the paper. My finger erupted through the paper like that ingrown hair sprouted from my chin and I ended up with shit under my nails.

> I rolled Fujino. Yay.

> As I sat down to piss and shit, my penis was somehow in the golden position aimed directly in between the toilet seat and the porcelain bowl. I was rather startled at the the sound of water splattering on the floor wondering wtf. My piss went streaming into that gap nobody thought could be passed and fanned out, wetting the lower legs of my jeans.

I never thought it was possible.