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Daydreamy Side of the Moon

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Wow. It's nearly Spring again.

Just about a whole year since one of the less sunny days in my life. Which means I actually get a chance to try again for a particular treatment, after waiting an entire year for my next chance! That's how long I had to wait after not getting cleared last year, and time's about up.

It makes me wonder a bit how far I've actually come this year. I don't feel especially different - I still blush at everything, I'm still scared about everything, and I still feel like I'm a bit unsure where I'm actually going from one day to the next. If you asked me if I'm a stronger person than I used to be, I'd stammer and apologize and mumble probably not, then apologize again.

But at the same time, Sunny of 2017 did a lot of things that Sunny of the rest of her life before that never dreamed she'd ever get a chance to do. I never thought I'd be able to cosplay at a convention. I never thought I'd travel abroad. I definitely never thought I'd have the nerve to join RPs again or the opportunity to make actual friends again, eheh. When I look at it like that, even if I haven't changed at all, I did start moving when I used to never imagine I'd take a single step. I'm still not particularly healthy, or happy with my physical state, but everything else has gotten much better.

Maybe Sunny 2018 is different enough.
Maybe I can actually get something a little better than a maybe.
Maybe not.

But I think I'm actually a bit hopeful, again, either way.