Scavenged from the Wonderland of Rebirth: Artificial Memorial of Perfection

Yo.
As a heads up to those who enjoy my oddly entertaining fanfic chapter summaries, I will, at some point during the week, begin laughing maniacally.
Without cease.
Probably starting three days from now.
So as to not temporarily end your amusement, I have gotten my split-personality to fill in.
Shinryu: Bah.
And to make sure he does his job, allow me to introduce the number irredeemable mage I have ever thought up, the girl who torture thousands a day and revels in it: Melissa Malakai.
Melissa: Hi everybody! (music note)
Shinryu: Oh me, her. Can't I just eat her?
No. Goodbye everyone! Have fun!
Shinryu: No! Come back here this inst-
*transmission lost due to psycho*