Revenge on the Abyss

AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAA
IT ENDS IT FINALLY ENDS
AFTER TWO YEARS OF ABSTAINING FROM ANY TALES GAMES, I HAVE, WITHIN A FORTNIGHT, EXACTED REVENGE UPON THAT WHICH WOULD DENY ME MY NEW GAME PLUS
AULDRANT HAS FALLEN VAN IS RAZING PHOENIX'D LORELEI IS STUFF IN THE ATMOSPHERE
HAVING STAINED MYSELF IN COUNTLESS BATTLES, I HAVE ACHIEVED A GREATNESS EXPONENTIALLY THAT OF MY INITIAL ATTEMPTS
I AM NOW FREE
Shinryu: Me. I was wondering when he'd shut up.
Shinryu: Now ...

Third Act in Summary (so far):
Luke: blah blah blah angst
Guy: blah blah blah Dist the Runny
Frings: blah blah blah dies
Cecille: blah blah blah sadness
Mary: blah blah blah replicas
Ion: blah blah blah farewell
Mohs: blah blah blah I'm an asshole
Blah blah blah: Arietta... huh?
Dist: blah blah blah explodes nonlethally
Asch: blah blah blah REPLICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Miasma: blah blah blah hyperresonance'd ...

*crawls to the bottom of the Absorption Gate* FFFFFFFFFFFffffffffffffffffffinally. That took forever.
Van: Indeed. In the time it took for you to get here, I've learned how to this play organ without actually touching it. (and that's why organ music plays in the AG)
Oh shut up and fall down that damn Bottomless Pit so you can imprison Lorelei already.
Van: ... Why would you suggest I do that?
Because. I'm on Normal and everyone's in the mid-Fifties.
Van: ... I meant, ...

WHY HELLO THAR AGAIN SWORD DANCER!
Sword Dancer: GRAR!
*two tries and several gels and life bottles later*
Well that was magnitudes less fail and pear-shaped than last ti-
*Tear cooks Gross French Fries*
WUT
HOW DID YOU FAIL SO HARD AT COOKING FRIED CHICKEN THAT FRENCH FRIES SPAWNED OUTTA YO ASS
ARGH THIS GAME MAKES ME NOT WANT TO GO FOR NEW GAME PLUS

LET'S BEAT UP ASS ASCH!
Asch: Come 'ere so I can beat you up!
NANA CAN'T CATCH ME *runs away and uses Magic Lens*
Asch: Dreck!
OWIE! YOU HURT ME! *runs away and uses Apple gel*
Asch: Stay hurt!
NOPE *runs away to heal up some more*
Asch: Dammit!
*repeat ad nauseum for about five minutes*
Asch: Hah! You're running out of healing items!
YOU'RE RIGHT.
BUT YOU'RE OUT OF HP!
Asch: *checks* Dammit! *wangsts*
WHEEEE!