Garden of the God of Failed Work

A large white beam greets you at the entrance to the Gardens as you feel intrigued. You place your hand on it, and the grassy mellows rises swiftly: You have quickly reached the top of the beam.
"Eh, why didn't Beast's Lair save my damn post?! A weird man with an eggshell head slams his hand on his table. You know his next sheet is going to be either: a) Lackluster, b)Rushed, or c)The Newest SCP in the Hood. You decide to adventure through the meadows until you've spotted some fires ...