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  1. I am constipated

    Also instead of spooky king, I rolled an uncle man who calls himself Diaz. Allegedly a king too.
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  2. Morning Blues Poetry

    Early morning at work,
    I begin to ponder,
    How long can I sit on the John,
    Before my sphincter becomes distended.

    ...

    Work sucks. I suppose I could just sit with the lid on....
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  3. So I had Indian food...

    It was good. I had mango lassi too, for dairy products are essential in canceling out the spiciness before it reaches the other end.

    My family were all like, how can you eat after drinking something like that? I gave no fucks.

    My brother had diarrhea. I didn't.

    I feel vindicated in my choice of beverages.
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  4. Food Poisoning

    It wasn't cool. My shit got progressively more and more liquid until I'm pretty sure the water I drank was just flowing straight out the wrong end.

    I slept my whole weekend away so it was like I had no weekend.

    I went to the doctor and had like so many meds.

    Shouldn't have went to work on Monday. But I did. My brain was like Helium.

    I just wanted to eat a lamb shank, sleep a night and finish my HoTS daily quests.
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  5. Well that was a shit ride home...

    Get on train. It is super packed, no room for Brownian motion. Suddenly my body is like.

    "Hey. Hey. You must shit. Right now."

    My body was saying lets go but my heart was saying no.

    So I was stuck on this cram packed shakey train ride, clenching my buttcheeks the hardest I could. I swear I was clenching them so hard I could crush Herakles' penis. Clenching them so hard that they were equivalent to an A rank Noble Phantasm. It was the final bulwark ...
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