Top Secret Files of a Mental Fugitive, Exposed

It has been a whole week since I've last updated my blog due to lack of content that I should blog, as well as the fact that my blogging frequency has been seemingly cut down from two posts per week to only one post per week. But since I still have this stupid untapped rage, a low tolerance for boredom, a nearly financially-crippling addiction to video games and the Internet and the fact that I've been watching episodes of Angry Video Game Nerd on YouTube just to alleviate my unneeded emotions, I've decided to visit TVTropes.org again to look for their article on Katawa Shoujo. Maybe there will be more memes listed under it, now that the Visual Novel is almost two or three months since it has been released to the wild. Maybe I will get a laugh from the memes, I said to myself. Maybe the "feels" aren't there anymore.

You will get no cookie or anything for guessing that I was wrong in that assumption.

Jesus Christ, upon merely taking sight of the damn article, it all came back again: My anger when I first read Hisao's crippling condition and sympathized with it; my annoyance at Misha and Shizune's insistence on making him join the Student Council; my awe when we first encounter Lilly drinking tea at the empty room; my curiosity at what's behind Hanako's scarface; my rage when Emi was controlling Hisao's diet; my first laugh at Rin's first offhand comment; my sadness when hearing the sad songs playing on the background and most of all, the seemingly bleak feeling that the story gives when it is read carefully. In short, the "feels" went back to me.

So right now, I've stopped writing the article for a while to open KS, go to the Extras menu, go to Jukebox and play Caged Heart. The funny thing about this is, it was playing on my head and I just felt sad. But when I actually played the BGM, I stopped feeling sad and instead, I get goosebumps on my back, as it if was so bloody cold that the electric fan begs to get turned off. It was the same feeling I got when I first heard The Good Doctor by the Protomen. And I like the Protomen, I can't wait for Act 3. Then I played Shadow of the Truth. The chills felt stronger. I don't remember the scenes anymore and I can't be bothered to play the game again, but I felt like it was the coldness of the grave, as if I've finally did the assault rifle rampage I've always wanted and I'm already at the inevitable end result. Really.

Then, I played Kenji's theme song, Out of the Loop. I remember the first time we encountered the paranoid bastard. Then it reminded me of Jigoro and his testosterone poisoning. Then Nomiya's FABULOUS personality, and how he yelled at Rin. Or Yuuko's half-awkward, half-pitiful and half-adorable (I know what's wrong. But I wanted to describe it that way.) attitude on both her job shifts. And who could forget the Nurse? (No, screw you. You're obviously lying. How about you? You forgot him?! Have you even played the game?!?! And please, I asked you if you remember him, not if he sucks or whatsoever. But thank you for your utterly honest opinion, I also think he's a bit too gay for my tastes.) How about about Hideaki? Or Akira? Or Sae? Or Miki? Or Meiko? Or Kenji? Wait, I already said his name. But you get my point.

I'll be honest with you, people. I don't think Katawa Shoujo is a masterpiece and there are some parts where the writing becomes subpar. I was to compare KS with George Orwell's 1984 but there are two reasons I can't. First of all, that would be like comparing an apple to a potato. Second, 1984 is nothing but a political tract. Hell, Jeffrey Archer's A Matter of Honour has a better writing than it. And even if KS made me feel sad, it didn't influence me to change. Not like those billions and billions of Netizens who played the game and made a pledge to change and improve themselves, the VN did jackshit to change me. Although I have to admit that my favorite girl was Hanako, did I try to fully cater myself to people? Nope. I don't hate them all, but I still value my private life the most. But I still admired Bacon Girl's mindset, she's like a libertarian gun nut: She didn't want to give up her freedom to meet other people and communicate with them for the security that her emotions will never be hurt. I repeat, she didn't want to give up her freedom for security. Perhaps, if I met Hanako in real life, me and Marisa will try to convince her to play all the campaigns in the Modern Warfare series and watch her play the whole thing. That would be fun!

I can't deny it, the fallout of the game is there: Changed lives, waifu-tier characters, unforgettable stories, emotional soundtrack, funny memes and the "feels". Even if the generations from far future will get hold of this game, play it and give it a rating of disappointment out of five stars, this current generation will, in my observations and opinion, always remember Katawa Shoujo as either their gateway to the VN world, first manga-style VN made outside Japan or simply the game that transformed their whole being.

But fuck it, I don't want to feel the feels, I want to smash zombie heads in Dead Rising 2: Off The Record. I love the crafting system. Ha ha.