Sei

Bleh. Not sure where this came from, but I jotted down the words as they flowed. It could use some cleaning up, but I like where it's taking me, so I might actually do something with it later. :/

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As I sunk deeper into a world of nothing, I heard a voice that was calling out to me. It was alien, yet familiar; sinister, yet pure; with a faint warmth which threatened to overtake my very soul. Even though my consciousness was scattered amidst the hellish void, she managed to reach out and pulled me close to her own heart. With the tiny rhythmic drum beating in my ear, the life which pulsated from her chest surged into my body, replacing what had been lost. Breath returned to my lungs and sensation to my limbs; allowing for me to cherish the contrasting cold of the downpour and the heat of her body. Doing this much was all I could do. I died and clinging to this person was all I had.

But I was wrong. I remember her words clearly.

As if speaking to me from beyond the dream, her voice resonated within my head. I still had something I could call my own, but I wasn’t ready to accept it. I wanted to reclaim the life I’d lost and the illusions that accompanied it. Even if it wasn’t perfect, it was my little piece of happiness in an apparent sea of misery. But I couldn’t ignore the dull flame which was forming inside of me. As if serving as my own heart, this growing hatred sustained me and provided my emptied shell with a sense of warmth and satisfaction. Before I knew it, fire was coursing through my blood and any ties I had to the world went up in smoke. My rage set me free.

When I came to, the rain had already stopped. I found myself resting within the lap of my goddess, the one who’d become my all and for whom I’d give my all. As I stared deep into her eyes of sapphire, the light of the moon framing her long golden hair, she simply looked down at me and smiled kindly.

“Don’t be afraid. Nurture that feeling you bear within you. Let your heart which was blind to the world be consumed by that rage and give rise to a flood of sin. Avert your eyes from the blinding light and immerse yourself in the darkness you couldn’t see before. Commit countless evils and project your solitude onto the world before you. When it becomes too much for you to bear, I’ll be waiting here to comfort you. I’ll become your light and I’ll never leave you.”