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Illya's #1 fangirl

So I wrote a crappy Eva yuri fic

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Asuka x Rei
"All readings are normal, beginning synch rate experiment." The technician stated, typing fervently away at her keyboard. Conducted to test the general fitness of a pilot in relation to their Eva, synch tests had become an every day occurrence for the children chosen to ride the weapons meant to save humanity from it's would be invaders.

"Good, continue as per usual. But remember, everyone has been under quite a bit of stress lately, so the numbers may be slightly off." Ritsuko stated as she focused her keen eye on the massive humanoid form suspended in liquid and separated from her and the other technicians by a thick sheet of glass her. Resembling half-decayed corpses, the test bodies were an environment meant for testing the many variables that influenced ones ability to pilot an Eva. And so far, all readings were typical, save for one.

Carefully eying the chart for one Asuka Soryu Langley, the pilot of Eva-02, Ritsuko noticed something odd, the young German girl's synch rate had dropped dramatically, reaching a new all-time low even compared to when she had first come to Nerv.

"Is something wrong with Asuka? These numbers are pathetic." Ritsuko turned and addressed Misato Katsuragi, the woman who had been designated as Asuka's keeper upon her arrival in Japan.

"I thinks she's on her period or something, just give a few days and I'm sure she'll be back to her old self."

"Major Katsuragi, a pilot's synch rate is not influenced by their physical condition. If anything is wrong with Asuka the problem would reside in her mind, not her body." Ritsuko was a woman of great intelligence and observation, and could often pick up on when people were lying. Misato's nervous twitching and hesitant speech gave away that there was more to this problem then she let on. "If you do not wish to speak about this now we don't have to, but if Asuka continues to perform as poorly as she did today, she will have to be replaced."

"I understand." Misato replied stoically.

"All right then, we're done for today. Everyone is dismissed."

The technicians filed out one by one, with Ritsuko and Misato trailing not far behind. It was rough to see a friend fall so far, and the oddity of Asuka's failing mind lay heavily on all involved. Though the one at the center of it all lay in silent contemplation within her test body, the experience of the last angel attack, and the memories it invoked, pushing all other thoughts into the back of her mind.

Within the test plug Asuka sat, her head bowed low and eyes fixed firmly on the floor. She felt nothing but shame. Shame for being upstaged by Shinji and Rei, shame for the past that had made her this way, ashamed of everything that had brought her to this moment. "It's not fair!" She yelled, her voice echoing through the test plug around her. None of this was fair, she was supposed to be the best, she was going to take that damn angel down all by herself. But reality refused to follow her plan, the beast's power had crippled her, forcing the young girl to recount the worst of times while the commander's favorite doll had destroyed the damn thing in a single blow. "Damn it..." she mumbled in her breath, beating one almost bloody hand against the plugs control terminal. Interrupting her self loathing came a communication from Eva unit 0, it was Rei.

"The test is over." The doll-like girl stoically. "You may go home now."

"I know, so just shut your mouth Wonder Girl."

"Understood." The feed cut out, leaving Asuka in a even worse mood then when all of this had began.

"What right did she have to talk to me like that?" Asuka cursed to herself. "Well whatever, just you wait, I'll show her and Shinji whose the best around here." Asuka's bravado formed a mask of false confidence to hide all that lay in the dark depths of her mind, if she could properly speak her sorrows she could at least bury them in an avalanche of fake confidence. Finally exiting the test body, Asuka wore a smile upon her face.

She had always fended for herself and would always fend for herself. Asuka Langley needed no one and thought only of herself. To be connected to others was a burden she simply could not afford. To be close to anyone meant investing energy and time into someone other then yourself, a waste of resources in the mind of the red-haired pilot. These thoughts and those similar swirled in Asuka's mind as she sad alone in her room and meditated.

Shinji had gone out to get dinner with Misato, they had offered Asuka the chance to tag along, but she simply would not have it, refusing the offer with a silent twist of her head. And so she sat for nearly two hours, silently sorting through the many issues preventing her from regaining her spot as NERV's top Eva pilot. Through all her silent thought a single name appeared again and again. "Rei..." she muttered quietly. That damn doll had stolen her moment in the spotlight, a problem she intended to soon remedy. "If I could just beat her, everything would be fine again." Before her plans for revenge could be fully formulated a knock came at the door.

"Asuka, we're back and we brought you dinner." Misato's voice rang through the apartment to the accompaniment of the mechanical noise the front door made as it slid to and fro.

"Ok, I'll eat it later."

"Hey, Asuka, are you all right? Ritsuko seems to think somethings wrong with your head." Misato stood back against the wall next to the young girl's room, echoing her missive as to not offend or upset her.

"I'm fine, really. I'm just a little messed up because of the angel attack the other day."

"I don't blame you, you've had it pretty rough lately. But remember, if you need anything at all, you can come and talk to me about it. Your like family to me."

"I know, thanks Misato. But for now I just need to be alone for awhile."

"Gotcha, just lemme know if you need anything." Misato left her post, grabbing a beer from the refrigerator to prep herself for the long night of drinking and watching television.

Misato's words entered Asuka's head via one ear and quickly left through the other. The only thought that stood fast in the young girl's mind were those of her fellow Eva pilot and the girl who had stolen what should have rightfully been hers. For another hour Asuka sat and focused, with all her mental power committed to finding a way to regain her position as number one.

In her quest to regain her former glory, Asuka threw herself into her training. With no thought in her mind save for beating Rei and taking back her total of being "the best", Asuka toiled day and night, training her body and mind to work together in perfect unity so that she may do the same with Eva unit-02. For nearly two weeks she thought of nothing else, even while eating and sleeping, the thought of advancement had taken hold of her very soul. Acting as if by instinct alone, Asuka's seemingly endless effort was soon rewarded with recognition from many among the Nerv hierarchy.

"You've been working really hard lately, Asuka." Shinji Ikari observed as he walked beside his fellow Eva pilot.

"But of course! I'm the best pilot here and I can't have you and Wonder Girl showing me up again." Shinji sighed lightly as he wondered if Asuka had a humble bone anywhere in that skinny body of hers.

"Well, good luck on today's test! Rei told me you were pretty upset after the last one." Asuka lay silent for a moment as the pair reached the entry port for the test bodies. Stopping in her tracks at the very mention of that disastrous day.


Asuka entered the testing area without another word, leaving Shinji alone to contemplate just what he had done or said wrong.

"I can do this. I can do this. I can do this..." Asuka repeated the same words to herself again and again as her every vital sign was measured by the array of delicate instruments positioned ever so carefully around the fluid filled chamber in which the test bodies were suspended.

She would succeed or, rather, she must. For the sake of her own psyche she must be the best again, but if she were to fail... Well, that was not a thought Asuka wished to entertain at the moment. Gripping at the testing chamber controls with a vice-like grip, Asuka shut out the rest of the world, devoting 100% of her self to the task at hand. For the entirety of the test she did not speak nor move remaining entirely still save for the breathing and other necessary function, such was the power of her devotion to this most noble -in her mind at least- of causes.

Time passed and the test came to an end. Asuka had deliberately avoided any news of her current synch rate, choosing instead to ask in person. Better to bask in the glory of her triumph in person, she reasoned, then hear it through the static of the testing ground's intercom. With a spring in her step and a smile on her face, Asuka exited the test body and headed for what she assumed would be her finest hour.

"So how did I do?" Asuka cheerfully questioned of Ritsuko, her voice full of hope.

"Well, your results are quite a bit better then they were last time." Ritsuko calmly stated as she flipped through a print out of Asuka's test results. "But, there still well below those of your fellow pilots or even the levels you displayed when you first came to Nerv. But, I do firmly believe that if you keep up your training your rate should return to normal levels with time and effort."

"All that work I did..." Asuka lay on the verge of tears. She had improved, but what was the point? Rei still had still done then her. All she could do was laugh. "That's a bad joke, right? I've worked for weeks but that dumb doll still beat me!"

"Calm down Miss Langley, to improve so dramatically in just a few weeks is quite impressive. You should be quite proud of yourself."

"Proud? You want me to be proud that I'm the worst pilot here? You want me to be proud that the commander and everyone else here looks down on me now? Just shut up, you don't understand this at all!" Asuka yelled as she dashed from the control room as tears began to fall from her eyes, staining the metal floor below.

With no idea where to go or what to do, a single thought permeated Asuka's guarded mind. Rei. The girl who had caused all this without even knowing it, and who had carried on stoically even as she had suffered in relative silence. If she couldn't beat Rei, the least she could do was to give the living-doll a piece of her mind. The experiment hadn't been over for very long, it was likely Rei was still in the woman's changing room. Asuka headed there, her step as heavy and dragging as her the thoughts weighing so heavily on her weary mind.

"Rei." Asuka said with a stony gaze as she entered the changing room. Her target sat changing into her school uniform, entirely unaware of Asuka's malice filled gaze. Slowly stalking up to the object of her scorn, Asuka approached her fellow pilot with her hand raised above her head, readied to grab at Rei and prevent her from escaping before her she had spoke all that was on her mind. Grabbing at the unsuspecting girl's wrist and readied herself to finally lay out the entirety of her angst. "We need to talk."

"All right, but please let go, I won't leave." Asuka relaxed her grip, knowing very well that Rei was not the type to lie.

"Fine, but this going to take awhile." Asuka took a seat beside Rei, readying herself to tell her story with a deep breath.

"I have time."

"Since that last angel attack, I've been a mess. My synch rate is all screwed up, everyone seems to think I'm an inferior pilot, and you stole the moment that should have been mind when you killed that stupid monster." Asuka didn't know whether she should be angry or depressed. Here she was, ready to take out a month's worth of anger on the girl she thought she hated most, but here she was, sitting beside her airing her issues like they were old friends.

"Do you blame me for your failure?" Rei spoke without a hint of anger or hatred.

"Yes!" Asuka nearly screamed. "My life has been nothing but horrible since that day and no matter how hard I try things aren't getting any better."

"That is not my fault. But if you truly believe I am responsible for your bad luck, I am sorry."

"You don't understand, It's not just that, I've been the best at everything I've done since I was a kid. It's the cornerstone of my entire life!" Asuka lay on the verge of tears as swung her arms about to emphasize the importance of what she was saying. " If I don't have that, if I'm not the best, then whats the point of living? I should just quit already and let the commander find someone with talent to fill my place."

Rei drew closer to Asuka as she spun her tragic tale, silently dragging the red-haired girl into a soft embrace to soften her long-lived pain.

"What are you doing? Don't you understand that I hate you?"

"Yes, but I don't hate you. There is no "best" or "worst" pilot here, we are all working towards the same goal. There is no reason for conflict or hatred. Do you understand?" Rei stoic commentary was accompanied by her stroking Asuka's blazing red hair, another action meant to reassure her comrade that nothing was wrong with her. Asuka wanted to raise an objection, to voice her concern that there would always be conflict for dominance among human beings in any field, but she simply couldn't. Rei's touch soon silenced any resistance that may have remained in her mind.

"All right... But why are you holding me like this?"

"Shinji once told me I have mannerisms like a mother. I thought such actions that a parent would use to quiet a crying child would be appropriate." Though ever stoic, Rei continued to stroke Asuka's hair, adding emotional warmth to her words with every touch. And it was with that same touch that Asuka's lingering anger dissipated little by little with every stroke of her crimson hair.

"Are you uncomfortable?"

"No, I actually kind of like it."

"Good. Are you feeling better?

"A little, but I think it would help if we could stay like this for awhile. Please?" Rei nodded in the positive while repositioning herself to make Asuka feel more at ease. Perhaps it was because it had been ages since she had been this close to another person or maybe something more, but Asuka had not felt such warmth since the days of her childhood before all the unpleasantness that had shaped so much of the the person she was today. It was a feeling she liked, and very much wished would never leave her. Before either knew it, two hours had passed.

"Your far kinder then you let on, you know that, right?"


"Then why don't you show it more? I'm sure you'd be really popular if you did."

"I reserve it for special people."

"Like the commander?"


"What about me, am I special to you?"

"In a way." Asuka couldn't help herself but blush as the warmth radiating throughout her body burned ever hotter. Even coming from another girl, those were words that had a powerful effect on the German girl and she wanted more. Not content with Rei's mere touch, Asuka set her sights on bigger game.

Breaking the embrace that had brought her so much solace, she smiled gently at her stoic partner before pouncing upon her and laying an intense kiss upon her lips. Catching Rei off guard, for a moment the blue-haired girl quivers in stunned silence, unsure what to make of all this. This had little effect on Asuka's advances as she began to mingle her tongue with Rei's weaving them together in a clumsy yet passionate embrace that last for several minutes before Rei could regain her senses.

"What are you doing?" Rei spoke as she broke away from her partner in this awkward dance.

"I don't know." Asuka blushed a shade as red as her hair. "I'm sorry, I just got caught up in the moment to the point where I didn't want it to end."

"It's fine. It was..." Rei couldn't complete the thought with words, instead choosing to seal her statement with a gentle kiss on her partner's cheek.

"Oh... Um, don't tell anyone about this, ok?" Asuka squeaked, barely able to speak through the intensity of her feelings.



  1. Dark Pulse's Avatar
    Interesting, though I wonder if Asuka would really open up that easily.

    Also, like another friend of mine, you have a bad habit of misdoing "you're" with "your."
  2. gothic_dolly's Avatar
    Honestly, I don't think so, she'd likely angst forever and a day before she would actually admit that the problem was with her and not Rei.. But this is a one-shot I wrote as a warm up for more important stuff so I wasn't exactly going for depth.
    Updated July 31st, 2012 at 09:19 PM by gothic_dolly