Kakashifan727

Originally Posted by Seika

Originally Posted by Arch-Magos Winter

Thing is, we don't know much about this guy outside of "HOLY FUCK HE HELD BACK AN ARMY AS A ONE MAN MURDER MACHINE."

So you're creative. You think about the sort of man to do this - what's he like personally, why would he particularly be the one to make the last stand, did he think he was going to get anything out of it, what regret did he have that he got summoned as a Servant*, etc. etc. You think about weapons, armour, clothes and build an image in your head, and work on how you can convey that to the reader through a description and other bits of the profile. You find an explanation for why he could hold back a whole army. You fit his deeds into the Nasuverse paradigm - perhaps he found a really powerful ancient weapon? - and build him into the universe.

*This consideration is something you should think over, actually. Your Noble Phantasm name implies that he believed in Valhalla, but that should make him content at his death.

And you can do all sorts of other things too, because real legends are far from the be-all and end-all of what the Nasuverse will include. For example, you might have him be a coward - a skilled warrior, but one who knows a losing battle when he sees it - yet he's forced to make a hopeless stand because a Viking magus has rooted him there. It's a little twist which binds it closer into the Nasuverse and provides a point of interest for those who already know the story.

Creating a Servant ought to both catalyse your imagination and demand its exercise. That produces something really worth reading. It's a fanfic in a different format. Or, if you'd like to look at it another way, this is a modern version of myth-telling, another link in the great long chain which has brought all these stories down to us.

Instead, you've given us what I'd again just call a stat sheet. As a stat sheet, it's perfectly workable and balanced, but it could be so much more, something properly interesting.