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The stuff where I put more stuff in

Shit you literally can't understand Part 1 - No Love

Rating: 2 votes, 5.00 average.
So I have a problem. It's a musical one.

See, I always loved a certain genre of music that is (or at least used to be) pretty much universally reviled in the country it comes from by everyone but wannabe gangbangers and people that don't know how to match pant sizes to their hip sizes. It's called German Rap. It's rap. In German. That's not the problem tho, I'll come to that a bit later.

I started listening to this stuff when I was like uh...9-10. Gangstershit mostly, I didn't understand anything about fucking hoes and gettin drug moneh but I liked beats and stuff so I developed a certain affinity to it when I grew older. When I hit 12 I had a friend in whats pretty much junior high I guess who also loved this kind of stuff but thought the shit I was listening to was mainstream shit since it was pretty much all stuff that got MTV airplay (back then TRL was still huge). Good examples would be Sido's old stuff or Bushido

And he was right of course.

The shit he liked though was even more gangstershit. Good ganstershit this time around because it was actually clever, full of wordplay and with decent technique, not to be compared with the aforementioned two. Kollegah was pretty much the best thing he showed me. I still love Kollegah since he got even better but it still didn't feel like the pinnacle of rap for me. I felt that there was something better out there still.

So I keep scouring Napster/Emule/Kazaa/Limewire for more and more tracks and I come across my favorite group which back then just released their new album. They were called K.I.Z. (this song is the only one I could find thats probably good to listen to for English speakers because it does amazing things to The Animals' House of the Rising Sun, with a Violin, Acoustic Guitar and Drum Computer). They opened my eyes that there is good stuff outside of gangstershit. They made battle rap texts about fucking moms still but they had an obvious wink-wink nudge-nudge attitude about it all, a sense of humor. (Kollegah needed a few albums to develop that, hue)

They still are my favorites, they are getting a bit worse but they still make me laugh.

On to my problem. See, around that time, because I discovered K.I.Z. (an abbreviation that changes its meaning whenever they feel like btw) and found some of my favorite songs to this day, I kept looking for good rap. And what was a better chance to look for artists as good as the ones you were listening to than to just look at who they toured with.

That's how I discovered The Artist formerly known as Prinz Porno (yes his name was prince porn but don't be fooled), Prinz Pi.

See, the guy started out doing battle rap with a crew of pasty thin armed white kids called Beatfabrik (beat factory), which I didn't know by name. But one of their songs was the cool thing to send to your first ex girlfriend. It was called "Du Hure" (You Whore) and it was pasty thin armed white kid emo rage towards an ex-gf.

And that song was sick in every possible meaning of that word.

spread the blood with my hands on the walls
(...)das blut mit den Händen an den Wänden zu verteilen

write your name on it to tell the whole world
dein Namen auszuschreiben um der Welt mitzuteilen]

how big my hate is, it doesn't even fit on LP
wie groß mein Hass ist der passt nicht mal auf LP

i'm sitting here alone and pump myself full of LSD
ich sitz alleine da und pump mich voll mit LSD

i'm so through with all of this i don't even warm up the H(eroin)
ich bin so durch ich mach das H nicht mal warm

rip my veins open with my teeth and scatter it on m
reiß mit den Zähnen die Venen auf und streu es auf den arm
So the things I realized were threefold:

1)This guy seems to have some kind of problem
2)He can really, really create images through song
3)His technique is some god tier shit, he sticks to the beat like glue and the way he breaks the bars in that song is just amazing

This was pretty much the German alternative to Eminem's "Kim". It's violent, effective imagery and not a good thing for your kids to listen to. Needless to say I liked that song, even if I was too awkward to actually have a girlfriend at that age, hue.

So a while after forgetting that song, a few years to be precise I am at my "look for good rap phase" and I come across an album of Prinz Pi called "Neopunk". It had Electrobeats and most of the songs sounded kind of shitty but he toured with K.I.Z. so he had to have some cool shit. And he did.

This is pure speed
Das is' purer Speed

A turbine that draws you into itself
Eine Turbine, die dich so in sich zieht

Sieves you into atoms, collapses them
In Atome zersiebt, kollabiert

Arranges them from the ground up
Sie von Grund auf neu arrangiert

Now you are here again
Jetzt bist du wieder hier

This is the first beat, the first unassuming link
Das ist der erste Beat, das erste unscheinbare Glied

The second big bang starts primitive
Der zweite Urknall beginnt primitiv

But it turns more complex, floods from ultraviolet light
Aber dann wird er komplexer, schwappt aus ultraviolettem Licht

Into infrared, until you see something
In Infrarot, bis du etwas siehst

The good die young, the best never do
Die guten sterben jung, die besten sterben nie

The best of the best create a fan club for Pi
Die allerbesten bilden ein' Fanclub für Pi

So this was good. It wasn't amazing but it made me curious. Especially since people flaunted this guy as some rap legend at that point already and I didn't knew shit about him. I listened to the rest of Neopunk and it was alright, some good shit, some bad shit, nothing to write home about but I liked the guy so I looked for more

This song starts with a line that is
I reduce myself to the minimum
"Ich reduzier' mich auf das minimum"
. And this is where the guy won me over, because that line is the same line what many consider his "Paranoid", his "Ace of Spades", his "Enter Sandman", the magnum opus, the best shit he ever created.

It's a song called
No Love
"Keine Liebe"

I don't exactly remember when or where I heard it, I only know that I had to sit down a bit and let it sink in because it was fucking amazing. It was a perfect fusion of sick text with stylish technique and pasty white kid attitude.

It's rap-solitary confinement in a prison without music
Es ist Rap-Einzelhaft in einem Knast ohne Musik

And I hit a dent in the cell for the beat
Und ich schlage eine Delle in die Zelle für den Beat

Then I start rapping until the guard starts screaming
Dann fang ich an zu rappen bis der Aufseher schreit

He can hit me as much as he wants I continue to tell em that I'm tight
Er kann mich boxen, wie er will, ich sage weiter ich bin tight

YEAH - So I scratch the texts into the wall
YEAH - Also ritze ich die Texte in die Wand

(Translators Note: YEAH means YEAH)

And as they see through that they break my arm
Und als sie das entlarven, brechen sie mir meine Hand

Thats why I memorize them and train my memory
Deswegen merk ich sie mir und trainiere mein Gedächtnis

Only that which is not bad becomes part of the rap legacy
Nur das, was nicht schlecht ist, wird Teil vom Rapvermächtnis
It was one of the closest things I ever had to a spiritual experience. It was somebody who wrote things that were full of a sense of humor and they were fun and still good and well written. I didn't know that being well written didn't have to mean that it had to be boring!

Then I became an addict. I downloaded bought all of his albums. I found out Neopunk was the result of a major label deal and was widely considered his worst album, and it showed.

He rapped about absolutely different things on his albums, standard battle tracks, love songs, breakup songs, drug culture (sometimes pothead stuff sometimes emulating Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas like on the legendary Bonnie's Ranch trilogy), social criticism. personal memories and hymns to his hometown.

It was then I came across his, in my opinion, best song ever, !Donnerwetter! (literally thunder weather, used as expression of surprise by weird and old people)
It's a three minute intro song to the album of the same name and it condenses literally every aspect I loved about Prinz Pi into one song to an absolutely gorgeous semi-orchestral beat. Amazing technique and flow, text touching up on social issues and the state of German rap at that time in addition to hollow battle lines with great delivery plus a sense of humor.

I reduce myself to the minimum
Ich reduzier' mich auf das Minimum

This is the intro to the greatest work of German song since the Nibelungen(lied)
Das ist das Intro zu dem größten deutschen Liedwerk seit den Nibelungen

And I lead you out of these depths
Und ich führe euch heraus aus diesen Niederungen

German Rap is a Medusa with many heads and many tongues
Deutscher Rap is' eine Medusa mit vielen Köpfen und mit vielen Zungen

Pi, the German Beatle, I only do this out of love and
Pi, der deutsche Beatle, zum ersten mach' ich das hier nur aus Liebe und

Hate, on the first look a contradiction
Hass, auf den ersten Blick ein Widerspruch

Love to the music, hate to the scene, armed
Liebe zur Musik, Hass auf die Szene, bewaffnet

to the teeth and ready to give it to those retards
Bis an die Zähne und bereit, es diesen Spasten zu geben

they put me at boiling point, every single dude
Sie treiben mich zum Siedepunkt, jeder von den Dudes

that pumps my songs knows there is reason
Der die Lieder pumpt, weiß, es gibt wieder Grund

to hope again, I am the last of my kind
Wieder zu hoffen, ich bin der Letzte meiner Art

as you realized, slowly my machine is gaining speed
Wie ihr merkt, so langsam kommt meine Maschine in Fahrt

Thunder Weather!

It's all in shambles
Das liegt alles in Trümmer

You failed, now I'll take care of it
Ihr habt versagt, ich werde mich darum kümmern

What a thunder weather
Was für ein Donnerwetter!

I come out of the clouds with lightning
Ich komm' mit Blitzen aus den Wolken

The Red Baron reloaded in a double decker
Der Rote Baron Reloaded in einem Doppeldecker

fucking perfect

I annoyed everybody I knew with that song. I still love it so goddamn much I listen to it every second day, inebriated or sober. It's just...aaaaaahhhhh

The guy doesn't die after Neopunk. He cancels his major deal, opens an independent label and promises a new album free of commercialism.

He delivers one of the best works of his career.

Teenage Mutant Horror Show 2 was it called, I eagerly anticipated that thing. And boy did it deliver. Conspiracy theories and dystopian futures were the main topic, used to reflect on consumer culture which Pi always seems to have hated. There even was a song called "Du Hure 2009"! This is where my capability to halfway translate shit pretty much ends by the way as his texts turn more and more lyrical but hey nobody will read this shit anyway (if you do, single person who actually reads this, this whole thing has a point at the end, yes) so why not go ahead with a translation I finished because I wanted to enter with that song in the Fanfic Category Challenge. (Arashi allowed translated songs, expected Japanese, not with me, hue)

One of my favorite tracks, Regenmacher (Rain Maker)

After the one big war, and the many small ones
Nach dem einen großen Krieg und den vielen kleinen Kriegen

Were weapons spoke and bursting stones remained silent
Wo die Waffen sprachen und die zerberstenden Steine schwiegen

But the stones remained, the humans yielded
Aber die Steine blieben, die Menschen wichen

Because they could not tame their spirit, this combative one
Weil sie ihren Geist nicht zügeln konnten, diesen kämpferischen

They went back into caves, the walls were made of lead concrete
Sie gingen zurück in Höhlen, Wände sind aus Bleibeton

Clouds are hanging in the sky alone, now their time had come
Die Wolken hängen allein am Himmel, jetzt ist ihre Zeit gekomm'

The time of the wind, he spies in even the smallest corner
Die Zeit des Windes, er späht in jeden kleinen Winkel

Rushing through a fixed world, dead except for one island
Rauscht um eine starre Welt, tot bis auf eine Insel

Satellites hang around in the orbit, metallic red moons
Satelliten hängen im Orbit ab: metallische, tote Monde

Particles of rust in the air, the sun, a red rose
Rostpartikel in der Luft, die Sonne eine rote Rose

Lakes of green acid, these are the new colors
Seen aus grüner Säure, dies sind die neuen Farben

This is not Eden, this is the new garden
Dies ist nicht Eden, dies ist der neue Garten

Giant beams of fire gnawing on the Greek pillars
Riesige Feuerstrahlen, an den griechischen Säulen nagend

The force of Vulcan and the titans carried over to modern times
Die Kraft von Vulkan und den Titanen bis in das Heute tragend

The blaze, the world fire
Die Feuersbrunst, der Weltenbrand

Creation and destruction, both lies in the same hands
Erschaffen und Vernichten, es liegt beides in derselben Hand

Nature felt her final humiliation
Die Natur erfuhr die finale Erniedrigung

Metropoles became deserts of silicon
Metropolen wurden Wüsten aus Silizium

Molten cities, millions of lives that end in split seconds
Geschmolzene Städte, Millionen von Leben, die in Sekundenbruchteilen vergehen

They wait for the rain maker
Sie warten auf den Regenmacher

He brings the blessed water
Er bringt das edle Wasser

His art is occult, not fathomable to everyone
Seine Kunst ist okkult, nicht für jeden fassbar

The rain maker, he makes survival possible
Der Regenmacher, er macht überleben machbar

Drives through the desert in an ancient Mercedes truck
Fährt durch die Wüste in ei'm uralten Mercedes-Laster
He followed this amazing album up with an LP called "Illuminati" continuing much in the same vein which earned him criticism, but when you reach your artistic peak its probably the smartest to just keep doing what you are doing as long as it lasts.

Then something bad happened.

German Rap as a whole pretty much went through 3 big phases. Subgenres flourished nonetheless, but the dominating themes were recognizable

80s to early 90s people loved to badly pretend to be Grandmaster Flash
After that people loved to badly pretend to be thugs. This actually forged a German rap identity with a huge focus on battle rap.

Pi didn't fit into one of these two phases. He did battle rap but the motherfucking slowly tuned out as the batshit insane songs about golden angels that descend from the heavens to sing that heaven was full increased. He never pretended to be a gangster, just liked to pretend to be Hunter S. Thompson.

Then the third phase came. A man who was formerly signed on a label with Kollegah who you should have forgotten by now split from them on good terms.
His name was Casper. He did a lot of collaborations with Pi but he had difficulties finding an audience with...well, emo songs. Not songs that are kind of emo, I am talking about songs titled "Razor blade love" and shit.

Casper was a good guy. He had some good songs, the ones that felt genuine to be precise as his TEARJERKING DRAMATIC STORYTELLING never resonated with me because it just felt too artifical. Still, a good guy. He just had real troubles finding an audience since emo kids didn't really like rap and hip hoppers didn't like his girly emo shit.

This is where hipsters come into play.

The third dominating phase of German Rap is German Rap as hipster shit!

Casper was, from my point of view, THE factor to turning German rap into what I wouldn't have feared in my darkest dreams: hipster shit. The fucking worst motherfucker out of the whole emerging bunch of shitty hipsterservice rappers is fucking Cro whose fucking songs I have to hear all fucking day in the radio and then have to fucking read LE EPIK FACEBOOK posts by fucking people saying shit like "CRO IS THE FIRST RAPPER TO NOT FUCK YOUR MOM IN HIS LYRICS HE HE HE"


But anyway, Caspers new album charted on #1 of the German album charts. I liked a few of Cas' songs but I didn't really like the new album because it was more of the artifical shit I mentioned.

But hey, my guys still produce music. Even Pi is releasing a new record and I am sure he will dewaitaminute whats with those glasses and that beard and that hair and OH MY FUCKING GOD

Yes, Pi's new record was hipster shit. Almost exclusively love songs to acoustic beats.

God fucking dammit.

I don't hate love songs. I like way more than I am comfortable to admit. But if my favorite word painter, an amazing fucking artist just keeps shooting out ~THE SUMMER OF MY LIFE~ shit I feel exactly like Du Hure must sound to an English speaker.

So, this is a problem. An artist evolved in a way I didn't like, something everybody here probably knows or at least laughed about.

Then his fucking album charted on #1, outselling all of his previous records.





Anyway, maybe he will recover, seeing that he's approaching 30 he probably won't.

The thing is, in November I will be able to see him live for the first time. He will play his old shit too, I know that, its just that the new shit will depress me as will the crowd.

I still don't know if I should go or not...

Well, if you actually read this, thanks. This is way more personal than it looks actually, so hey. You learned something about my taste!
I'll leave you with something as reward, the chorus to one of the greatest songs ever created.

How can something so good be so wrong?
Wie kann so etwas gutes so falsch sein?

How can something so beautiful be so bad
Warum ist so etwas schönes so schlecht?

Why is there No Love in this world?
Warum gibt es auf der Welt Keine Liebe?

And why am I always right?
Und weswegen hab ich eigentlich immer recht?

Updated September 26th, 2013 at 03:19 PM by I3uster



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  1. SeiKeo's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Spinach
    Friday to-do list:

    • Eat ribeye for breakfast.
    • Call my cat fat while I pet him.
    • Make a girl cry.

    Well, I think I can call it a day.
    please go

    and stay go

    Bad Job, all of those
  2. I3uster's Avatar
    Man that didn't take long.
  3. Spinach's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by LeopardBear
    please go

    and stay go

    Bad Job, all of those
    Literally bleeding jealousy in this comment, Leo. Are you okay? Do you want to pet my fat cat? Will that make you feel better? How about some steak? Want me to make Polly cry some more?
  4. SeiKeo's Avatar
    I don't need your fat cat, I have you, it's basically the same thing.
  5. I3uster's Avatar
    But you can't touch Spinach


  6. SeiKeo's Avatar
    Don't remind me.
  7. Spinach's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by I3uster
    But you can't touch Spinach


    Not with that attitude you can't.
  8. bahamut zero's Avatar
    rap stuff redeemed through spinach being spinach.
  9. Sherrinford's Avatar
    The wall of text. It doesn't end!!

    Ok, let's see what I got: Germans are all ultra-violent nazis (not that this is any news), and I3uster has truly horrible taste in music. Ok.

    / not serious.
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