These things have titles?

Soo I keep forgetting about this/getting distracted by other things (as of the past week its mainly replaying Suikoden, seriously such a fun game). Oscar season is looming over my head and I'm already making plans to see Kaze Tachinu/The Wind Rises next weekend (theater here is playing it subbed MOTHERFUCKINGWIN) so lets go ahead and finish this up.

WHEN LAST WE LEFT OUR HEROES ANNA WAS FREEZING FROM HER FROZEN HEART AND ELSA WAS FREEZING HER FROZEN SHACKLES
RASE TO DAH CLIMAX GO!

I feel like a lot of recent Disney movies involve snowboarding/surfing of some kind. Like they realized it was hip wif dah kids in the 90s and now what their wif isn't it. And what's it seems weird and scary.

I can see why people wanna connect this to Beauty and the Beast, it does have a similar feel, well at least in the setting. Way different tone and overall "good" level though.


"True Love's Kiss" .....


....uuuuggghhhhhhhh Fucking Heel Turn
REALLY? REALLY? THERE WAS NO NEED FOR HIM TO BE A VILLAIN
NO NEED
YOU COULD HAVE DITCHED HIM VIA MEG RYAN DISPOSABLE LOVE INTEREST ROUTE BUT INSTEAD YOU HAD TO MAKE HIM A SECRET DOUCHEBAG
LIKE EVERY GODDAMN ROMCOM FROM THE PAST DECADE
UUUGGHHH
they went from Enchanted style self-mocking that could have let Anna have some you know, real growth
You know she and Cody were gonna get together anyway but you could have let her have her strong independent woman dont need no man moment with Hans, like "yeah, youre a decent guy, but I dont really know you/like you so yeah"
They did the "handsome/popular guy is actually a douche" thing waaayyyyy back in Beauty and the Beast, ITS BEEN OVER 20 YEARS
YOURE NOT BLOWING OUR MINDS HERE DISNEY OR EVEN BEING REVOLUTIONARY FOR YOURSELF
JESUS FUCK UGH


Anyway, yeah these visuals are really reminiscent of B&tB, castle wise. Fitting since they seem to be trying soo hard to make that shit again =_=


This along with those half sunken boats in the background.
Geoffrey Rush better pop his greasy head out and give me an apple.

Sven so sad nao cus he aint get nuhn of that Kristen Bell booteh

Holy shit mutha fucka is pissed. And sounding like a MOTHER FUCKIGN T REX

So many self-aware/Dreamworks expressions. Can't decide if good or bad.

...So race back to Arrendale? Is his whole purpose in the movie to run fast? Is he sanic?

Olaf just looks like a douchier Patrick, which you know he kinda is.
THE SNOWMAN IS HER GAY BEST FRIEND. OHMYFUCKINGGOD. CANT TELL IF RETARDED OR AMAZING


Why does this feel like a more epic The Happening?

So that image of Olaf as a big snowball has me thinking way more than I should. He's made of snow right? So are the snow golems. They;re made of magic living snow, and snow accumulates and sticks together right? What seperates snow snow from their body/magic snow? Wouldnt the snow he rolled in just be his body now? How can he just shake it off so perfectly? What happens to the snow in his body that falls off? is it still just bits of living snow stranded in the middle of nothign? is it like that Robot Chicken sketch and just screaming all the time because someone is crushing it with their feet, etc?
Am I just looking for dumb questions to ask?
Imma just say yes to all

NEEDLESSLY EPIC RUNNING TOWARD EACH OTHER SCENE GO


why is it henna?

Thats a badass fucking reindeer. He really wants that pusseh.

With frozen Anna and everything I feel this might be innappropriate right now, but why the fuck is Elsa wearing dark red lipstick? Whose dick is she sucking tonight?


..............YES
WE GET IT OLAF
THANK YOU

So this whole time Elsa just needed to fuck her sister to control her powers. That's what I'm getting out of this.

OH MY GOD

HE WILL NEVER GO AWAY
OH GOD WHYYY????????

......
"The only Frozen heart around here is yours"
OHHHH YOOUUUU
(seriously that was terrible)

THEY CLAPPED AT HER PUNCH
WHY?


It's Okay Cody, Anna has elsa now, but you and Sven can make it a 4way

So turns out Ghandhi wasn't really a "Villain" and always bumbling doofus. Which was nice. Hans as a "villain" was not.

That reindeer looks like hes gonna rape someone.

HURRHURR IT EVEN HAS A CUPHOLDER
MODERN HUMOR LOHL

This ending is getting so sappy. SVEN YOU SHOULD HAVE KEPT OLAFS NOSE. THE WORLD WOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER PLACE

...so the queen gets to keep her sexy dress?
sexy dress + dark red lipstick does not mean that kind of "queen" Elsa.

So in this last reprise of "The First Time in FOrever" I realize how much it sounds like "Go The Distance"
WHERE'S ELSA AND ANNA IN THE STARS?
..or more appropriately snowflakes?

uugghhh this pop remix of "Let It Go" in the credits...

But yeah, overall thoughts
Not bad. Its ALOT better than Tangled, but still has some issues to work on.
It', and Disney, still seem really hard to be trying to find their footing, but they're getting close. It's not this great B&tB masterpiece people want to think it is (although in all honesty I think the latter is really fucking overrated). It was at least mildly enjoyable.
MUCH MORE THAN OZ.
So maybe I'll be throwing my hat a little less hard when it inevitably wins the Oscar over Kaze Tachinu.
Although I have yet to see the latter, but maybe I'll give a little shpeil about it after I see it next weekend/whenever.

So yeah, end message her: Everything will be fine, as long as you fuck your sister (and maybe a reindeer).