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Nuclear Contemplations

Worst Kokuhaku Ever: Aftermath

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Okay, I'll keep this short, since blathering about this topic is clearly not doing me or the people who listen to me any favors. Besides, this whole thing happened three weeks ago, so the memory is no longer fresh and I can only give a summary.

I talked with him about it, but my latent anime girl side reared her ugly, tsundere head and made me spit out unsightly comments like "I did it to stress you out" (which I didn't actually mean) and "I did it because I don't want to feel like I'm having my fucking period 24/7" (which I did). Yes, I'm still mentally bashing my head into a wall for that.

Surprisingly, he took it all in stride, and said it was fine. For the record, I don't believe him.

It's not fine, because I'm not fine. Right now, it feels like Musou!Nobunaga pardoned Musou!Hisahide for another failed rebellion. I expected him to get angry, to shout, or maybe just ignore me, but no such luck. He still treats me like any other classmate. I keep expecting some form of punishment, but it never came, and the term is already done and over with. Maybe this is the reason why I haven't rolled a single Medea Lily from the rate-up.

Aside from that, I just feel tired. The term was intellectually draining as well, and lots of stuff not involved with my delusional plea for affection happened, so I'm planning to take it easy and reflect on all the shit that hit the fan this Christmas break. After that initial phase, I plan to hit the ground running and prepare for next term by making outlines for the minor subjects (aren't I an overachiever?).

As for future relationships with the Man, I guess I'll stick to a one-step-behind attitude when dealing with him. "Don't talk to him unless he goes first" and all that jazz. If he really wants us to be (or stay) friends, he can go first. I'm worn out from chasing after him.

Oh, and one final note. I'm turning eighteen on the twenty-seventh! Yay! I wonder what sort of cake I'll be having?

FIN

Updated December 15th, 2015 at 04:54 AM by Nuclear Consensus

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Going over (and getting over) the deep end.

Comments

  1. Bloble's Avatar
    try for cheesecake

    can't go wrong

    also hope your romance thing gets better bro