Daydreamy Side of the Moon

My second Anime Expo...! I sat on writing this for a few days to properly digest it and to recover from a nasty convention cold. DayQuil has been my bestest of friends. But I wanted a clear head to process my feelings on it all.

Compared to last year... well, i missed more panels than I made it to (RIP Violet Evergarden and Magus Bride and your monstrous lines) but the ones I got to see were great and the Miku dance party was amazing, once they got the rap and Skrillex DJ out of the way. Lab Zero were hilarious and Indivisible looks gorgeous, yay! Super duper hype for the sneak preview at the flower and nature priestess who hits basically every button and switch I have.

http://i.imgur.com/kRa9zLE.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/0DpEL5U.jpg

I bought way too much...! I wasn't able to get the Aniplex Mashu I set my eyes on, but I got her Nendoroid and another Chaldea uniform figure , plus a Nero Bride and Blissey plush. I spent less time in the artist hall than I wanted to, though, on account of the hellish Linecon on day 1. So much lost time and opportunity, alas.

...Mm. If I am honest, I was quite scared going into this Expo, as much as I reblogged happy yays over it. It was a promise to myself that I am glad I kept, but it took more anti-anxiety measures than I like to disclose. I was utterly, stupidly terrified both for the prospect of meeting anyone and for actually dressing up comfortably in cosplay - my self-confidence tells me it will go badly, I will disappoint them, and any number of other self-recriminations. I am still fighting that, even three days later, when I tell myself in a shaky voice that it went well. It's something I work on, a little more each day, but it probably still colors more of my behavior than not. If I apologize too much or talk sub-audible, that's one of the reasons why.

Cosplay-wise, I was a decent Mashu (I hope) though a terrible Kiyo - the horns I had delivered were wrong and shoddy to the point I will gladly shame the provider, so I had to do without them. But both costumes felt magical for me in their own way, if you ignore the unholy heatstroke it took to get either of them into AX on Saturday and Sunday. I know I want to cosplay again - maybe even D'eon if I progress enough over the next year in my, ah, treatment to have any confidence in it. But all in all I am happy with my cosplays and look forward to doing better next year.

If I have a regret, it is that I did not figure out how to get in touch with anyone until the last day, so I missed most of the chance to really meet people save for one fun lunch on Day 4. (Thanks to Spinach and Kyo for reaching out to me while I was lost). It was a step up from outright hiding like last year, but next year I will do better...! The hour or two I actually got to see people from here was fun, in a heart in my stomach sort of way, and hopefully my impression was not too disappointing. I was not sure what anyone would think, least of all myself, but everyone seemed quite fun to be around.

I had some panic when people began hyping tracking me down unnecessarily, lol. Okay, a lot. Bullying! I wanted to warn people not to get their expectations up, tbh, and briefly suppressed the urge to outright flee before anyone got there to be disappointed. Now I know how it feels to be Liz spooking someone on a Tamamo Lancer roll. ;.; But you know, I'm glad I met the people I had a chance to meet. It was fun to discuss GO and failed fanfics (some day ;.; ) and other little things. I am terminally quiet but it was a priceless look outside my window. ^^

Overall, AX 2018 feels much too far away. But thanks to those I met for the chance to share in a brief fragment of this one.