InsertNameHere

Having been inspired by Formless Creature's post about their past on the BL history thread, I'll just throw out my own story for those who give a shit about it. Do with it what you see fit.

As you may have already seen, I'm naturally someone who has some very strong views about certain characters and plot elements in FGO's story (among other things, most of which aren't relevant to BL anyway). An excess of passion for the things I care about is a flaw of mine, both because it colors my view of things and because to outsiders it can and often does appear to be obsessive. Maybe it is. I can apologize for the way I carry on about it, but I see no need to apologize for having the opinions myself. If they end up being vindicated, good for me. If not, then there's nothing to be done about it. But either way, they're still my views and I don't change them unless I feel that I have good cause to do so.

I do sometimes worry that I'll step on the wrong person's toes and get a ban for it, but I trust that others believe that I do not let any personal animosity between myself and other posters affect my judgments and beliefs. If I feel they have good arguments, I'll say as much. If I'm not convinced by them, I'll say that too. For better or for worse, what you see with me is what you get.

While some people may justifiably assume I have something against Petrikow and his theory given my acrimonious history with him, I have no personal animosity towards either him or his theory. Maybe it's just my own perspective talking, but something about how those theories are presented (as if nothing else could explain the evidence they cite) just rubs me the wrong way. Kirishima may have been right when he told me before that generally an argument doesn't need to be prefaced with "maybe I'm wrong lol ", but even so I find it a valuable habit to cultivate whenever possible. I have not been the best at doing so myself, but I aspire to keep trying anyway.

Part of why I write is to put those feelings into something concrete- if I'm displeased with how the story is developing, why just grumble about it when I can recreate it and address the perceived flaws myself? I'm not Nasu, and while I'd love to be able to equal or surpass him eventually I know my weaknesses well enough to accept that it will likely appeal to myself first and others second. This isn't a problem for me, because why would anyone write a story that they don't want to read? (It's also why I take so long to make what I do: I wish to make it the best I can possibly can and I tend to get wrapped up in making sure the details are as refined as possible.) I'd like it if things were a little more active there given my constant nagging doubts that I'm not actually living up to my own expectations, but I'd rather not have to beg for feedback if I have a choice.

I agree with a fair amount of what Formless Creature had to say about internet communities these days; I don't have the same history of forum posting, but I do tend to go on and on when I have something to say. I especially agree with the point about people not really talking to each other- I don't especially like butting heads with others so frequently, but I'd rather do that than just perpetually bottle up my thoughts more and more without even the hope of finding someone who might see things similarly enough to me to make a connection. If I thought that was what I ought to do, I wouldn't even have made an account here in the first place.