Top Secret Files of a Mental Fugitive, Exposed

Alright.

I woke up earlier than usual this morning before going to work, so I opted to play some game of Generals Zero Hour before leaving. Needless to say, I ended up constantly restarting the game because I easily get rushed by those damn Crusader Tanks, even if I filled every building and bunker with Tank Hunters, created shitloads of Gatling Cannons and covered every possible entry. I don't really have fast reflexes, so I ended up straining myself and having unnecessary pressure on me.

When I finally got to work and break time came, some of the guys back at our Computer Laboratory asked some of us to come with them in some nearby eatery and after lunch, we had a cigarette break. I don't know, but it seems that smoking just stressed me out some more, so I decided against it just for a few weeks.

To be honest, because our workplace doesn't allow smoking in the establishment, we opted to go outside and take a stick of Phillip Morris. I usually smoke alone, rarely and in secrecy, so maybe the fact that it was my second time to smoke in public caused me to stress out, along with the fact I kept too much of my focus on some damn RTS game.

And on the other day, there was a cocktail-making demonstration in the Kitchen and, to make the long story short, I downed a martini glass-ful of Kamikaze, as well as sampled the other cocktails. I thought I was going to be okay, but then the drunkenness kicked in. I'm not sure if it was intoxication, but all I felt was dizziness and a racing heart, and I just managed to posture myself and not look drunk, but I was sweating like hell.

It seems that taking the classical vices like alcohol or tobacco doesn't sit well with me because, aside from the fact that I wasn't supposed to be doing these things due to my past history of ulcers and absurd amounts of digestive problems, I was a teetotaler my whole life, as I was raised a conservative Catholic by my parents. My father doesn't have a problem with me doing these things nowadays, but my mother and the twins doesn't want me to do it.

I don't know, but I'm not trying to look or act mature when I drink wine or smoke. I just want to try. You know, kiddie curiosity. I hate to admit it, but I'm sort of liking the act of smoking than drinking, maybe because our family has a history of smokers. I just don't know which side. Maybe my father's.

But yeah, I guess I'm rushing it, I'm too nervous or maybe I shouldn't have done it at all.