I create a world of finite somethings

So, yeah, spoilers for what happens. DO NOT READ FURTHER IF YOU PLAN ON READING THE SION FIC I'M WORKING ON. I'm not putting it in spoiler tags, though, because of what this is about.

If it wasn't pretty obvious if you read my stuff, I sort of have an austere style of writing. I tend to write deliberately poetical-like, because, well, I kind of think like that. Abstractly. I'm way better at theory classes than I am with, say, grammar classes. Probably because I'm pretty self-taught when it comes to all of my basic writing skills--if you didn't know, before starting college, I only had a 6th grade education. On top of that, most of my English education has been in poetry classes as opposed to prose-related classes. And everything that I've had published is also poetry, though I write significantly less poetry than I do anything else, nor do I particularly like to write poetry. It just sort of happens, sometimes.

Anyway. So, on the theory, I tend to think a lot about how writing is perceived and how one can use the form of the writing to communicate things. Not just the words or the literal meaning of things, but how and when a short sentence is better than a long one, when rhythmically a paragraph should be comprised of ten sentences and when it should be made up of one, how the eye travels across a page, how one person may read something and emphasize something completely different to the next person. All of that. I mentioned before how I like shows that go off the rails from traditional storytelling like Baccano! or KnK, and that's just an extension of that weird theoretical place I like to sit in and try to mess around with stuff.

'Course, doing it too much and you start to sound hella presumptuous or pompous. But damn if fanfiction based on prose work like Tsuki and FSN isn't a hilarious place to test stuff out on, since I think people have to intuitively be at least a toe into that space when they're interpreting materials that are translated from another language entirely. I kind of laugh when people tell me that some of my writing might make a character sound too intelligent when, for all they know, that's exactly how they sound in Japanese. Anyway.

So, a small little exercise in that whole I-think-aesthetically-and-functionally-more-like-a-neurotic-poet, I'm trying to get down this thing in Shared Resonance that is the entire point the story is titled such. And I'm trying to get it across visually. But then, I'm also trying to get it to not look ugly and be distracting. I've seen similar sort of things occur in other stories, and I'm always distracted by the novelty of it. So, I'm gonna post this here, to see how it looks up on BL, and try and decide how I'm going to work it once I get to this point in the story.

AGAIN, SPOILERS BELOW. YOU HAVE BEEN DOUBLY WARNED.

“He is the bone of my sword!”

His body was made of swords.

Number one, two, three: activated.

“Steel is his body and fire is his blood.”

His blood was of iron and his heart was glass.

Determining creation ideology.

“He created over a thousand blades.”

He survived through countless battles,

Synchronization of hypothesis to template.

“Unaware of loss,”

Not ever once retreating,

Extracting world egg theory.

“Nor aware of gain.”

Nor ever once victorious.

Systemic errors detected, omitting.

“Withstood pain to create many weapons,”

The bearer lies here alone,

Realigning unknown factors.

“Waiting for another’s arrival.”

Forging iron on a hill of swords.

Projection procedure replicated, understood.

“He had no regrets; this was the only path.”

His life truly had meaning.

Sharing resonance of possession experience.

“His life created—”

His body was made for—

All processes complete. Deploying—

“—Unlimited Blade Works.”

Ugh. On the preview, at least, it still looks ugly to me.